Bomber points

Last night we got food at Aroi Thai and then went out drinking in Nantwich.

Throughout the night I ran a scoring system.  Bomber points were lost or gained depending how I judged certain situations. Here's the results following by some photos.....

Jamie 

-3 late for taxi

-1 rudely had last thai cracker

-2 dissing bomber points

+1 initiated birthday cheers

-3 admitted he neglected to buy Glasto tickets in favour of making bacon buttie

- 1 stepped on my foot while dancing

+ 2 let us come round his house at 3am

+ 1 gave me a 3am beer

- 1 always engineers a taxi drop to his house so that he doesn't have to 

walk home at 5am

TOTAL - 7

Gaz 

+1 early for taxi

- 1 antisocial, playing with phone

+ 2 for flagging down a taxi home

TOTAL + 2

Nat 

+1 early for taxi

- 1 jumped on birthday cheers bandwagon to try and get points

+ 1 pigeon friendly

+ 1 bought me a nice cocktail

- 1 punching

TOTAL + 1

Bec 

+1 ready early!

+ 1 funny dancing :-)

- 1 went home 'early' 

TOTAL + 1

Outward Taxi driver

 -3 not done the knowledge

Matt

- 5 didn't come out

- 5 poor excuse for not coming out

TOTAL - 10

 homebound taxi driver

 -2 didn't acknowledge gaz when he waved goodbye

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

This post is the 400th blog post on Jonny's Brain! 

Jazzed up

The Nantwich Jazz and Blues Festival is otherwise known to most local people as an annual excuse for an all day binge drinking extravaganza, but Yoc, Jay, Gaz and myself went out at 3pm with our sensible heads on and decided to just have a couple of sociable ones, some stimulating conversation, a bit of amiable mingling and then head home.  I mean you don't have to crazy every time you go out do you?  You can still have a good time without needing to get ridiculously intoxicated.

At 4am I crawled into bed.

The next 5 days I suffered the most putrid, painful, drawn out hangover that any human has ever experienced.  In my mental haze the only thoughts that made sense were that last sunday, as good as it was, really is not worth a week of feeling like my insides need ripping out.  My head throbs, my stomach aches, If I sit still for more than 10 seconds I'm likely to fall asleep.  By Wednesday and Thursday things are still rough, if I ever actually fully recover then that sensible head I mentioned before well I'm gonna find it, put it on, and never take it off.  Friday I'm feeling a bit ropey but settling back into real life.

Saturday I wake up feeling fresh, I'm cured! Feeling good and thinking back to a triumphant days partying last week I'm wondering when's the next one?  It was definitely worth it.  Let's get on it again!  I'm rrrrrready to rolllllll!!!

the only known photographic evidence

I want to buy some cheeeese

I nipped out on my lunch break at work to go get some cheese to cook a meal for tea tonight, be back in 5 mins I said......  At the market they had no halloumi left on the cheese stall so I said no problem I'll try the cheese shop around the corner.  Over at a shop on Pillory Street called 'The Cheese Emporium' I wandered in and politely asked
"Can I have some halloumi please?"
"No, Sorry, I've got no halloumi"
"Oh, right, never mind, what do you have that's similar?"
"Nothing really, we don't sell cheese anymore but I'm doing a special offer on pickles and chutneys at 3 for the price of 2"
"Erm..... well..... it's cheese I wanted really, that's why I came into a shop called THE CHEESE EMPORIUM"

Reminded me of a Monty Python sketch called the cheese shop in which the shop had no cheese.  See the video below, this is almost exactly how it happened today!

Simon Spoons

After befriending my new cutlery playing homeless friend a few days ago I kept my word and found some cd's for him to play along to

He seemed particularly impressed with the 'Pete Tongs essential selection 98' cd.

He has decided to stay around the Nantwich area for a while because he has found some good bushes to sleep in at the park down by the river.  I told him not to bother going to Crewe but he did anyway and returned to Nantwich yesterday morning saying he was "not at all impressed with Crewe, it's grey and everyone's miserable".  This is a homeless fella turning his nose up at Crewe so why would anyone else want to go there!  I live there but I still agree!

I told him that he gets more out of life than most people.  Although I'm sure his life must be very hard sometimes he keeps positive and motivates himself to travel the country, see new places and interact with people wherever he goes.  Compare this to much of the nation that gets up, goes to work, come home to watch TV and then repeat again the next day.

Simon is off to Manchester next via Stoke, again I told him not to bother with Stoke but he'll find out why when he gets there!

Dude playing the spoons

After filming Simon Spoons' incredible spoon playing skills to the sounds of Eminem in Nantwich today I went to throw a well deserved pocket full of change in his hat when he claimed he was a famous international rock star! He's right! there's a youtube vid of him in Borough Market, London with over a million views.  He's homeless but happy and spreads his infectious happiness all around the country as a wandering spoon player busking for his supper.  If you ever see him, go speak to him, he's a lovely fella.  I'm meeting him tomorrow morning to give him some new cd's so he can expand his repertoire.....

Here's my video from today.....

Nantwich, Panama, Glastonbury

Plenty happening at the moment!
Today- went to view a house in Nantwich.  Weighing up the pros and cons of larger detached house in crewe versus smaller terraced house in Nantwich. We'd be giving up the benefits of a detached house, big gardens, garage, en suite and 3 bedrooms for one important thing......location.
Tomorrow-  Hoping to confirm this years holiday.  All is in place, planned, reserved and awaiting the emptying of my bank account.  Looks like this time we're going to be spending 2 weeks travelling from San Jose, Costa Rica to Panama City
Wednesday- Setting off to Glastonbury.  For me the stuff you see on the TV is not what it's all about, the stuff on the pyramid stage is not for me.  I'm up for exploring and having a varied and random experience but of course have a short list of things I can't miss.  Django Django, Public Enemy, Palma Violets, Netsky, Vampire Weekend, Major Lazer and a handful of other stuff.  Should be fun.

Need a croggy?

As a user of buses in the past and now a rider of bikes I have come up with an amazing idea.  my route to work is largely unbused and so as an alternative to this lack of bus riding I will create a series of bike stops between Crewe and Nantwich.  Along my way as long as I'm not running late I will stop and offer a croggy to anyone waiting.  This service will be available once per day in the morning from Crewe to Nantwich and once per day in the evening from Nantwich to Crewe with this timetable being subject to change of course.  I think £1.50 sounds fair with a 50pence surcharge for fatties and the elderly.  My customers can enjoy the wind in their hair, fresh air and the exclusive rights of cyclists to ignore the rules of the road.
Need a lift? Hop on the cross bar!  That's £1.50 please, yep no probs hang your shopping off the handlebars

poor horsey?

All this nonsense about the horse meat scandal..... you're better off veggie.
It's okay to kill and eat a cow but not a lovely horsey? the country is full of morons!
some people seem horrified that they may have been mislead into eating horse meat labelled as beef,  there was a fuss last week with televised protests in Nantwich over poor conditions at a horse abattoir and now more horse meat stories are coming out everyday on the national news.  why? why are people bothered when horses are involved but are quite happy to chew on a dead cow and live in ignorance to the fact that millions of pigs, cows and chickens are living a poor quality meaningless life all across the country?
If you eat meat then what's the difference? If you couldn't tell the difference when you were tucking in to your 'beef' lasagne then why does it matter?  Either way the meat came from an animal that was killed after having had a bad life.  We're talking about meat found in ready meals and processed food anyway, I wouldn't eat that stuff even if I wasn't vegetarian, it's made for the kind of person who doesn't care what they're eating or doesn't know what they're eating.  Hopefully this publicity will make people think a bit more and then people like me might stop labelling them morons.

jazzed

rather predictably have spent today nursing a foul hangover. predictable even though all week i claimed i wasnt bothering with the jazz festival this year which by midday sunday had developed to going to nantwich just for a few hours and ended with me stumbling home at 2.30am. same routine every time.
it was good fun though, went down there with lewis, wildor and parky and met up with a load of other people down there. lots of banter, lots of beer and somehow ended up at ali hemptons parents house eating sarnies in the kitchen at 2am.

monkeys in action

Nantwich last night with Bec, Gaz, Emma and Lisa. drinking too much, dancing and being silly. At request of Ian who was unable to make it (due to being jumped by 2 idiot lads the night before) we sent him monkey photos which then lead to 'high speed monkey video' which is probably funniest thing i'll see this year.


MONKEYS IN ACTION!

fun with friends

went to see twisted wheel at the box last night, yep thats right a decent band actually came to crewe!  went out with ryan, lewis, gaz, emma and lisa and a couple of ryans mates whose names i cant remember.  had a few in square one whilst watching man utd get punished by barcelona in champions league final then on to the box.  twisted wheel were brilliant, loved it,  had fun jumpin around with lewis and sloshing beer about.  i insisted we played the touch someones hat game, there was one girl wearing a hat so the idea is we all have to walk past and touch the hat, we werent very good at doing it discreetly so this girl looked very very bemused. funny game.

after wheel we made spur of the moment decision to go to nantwich and kinda rushed off to get a taxi, felt a bit rude to gaz and emma coz they didnt come and we suddenly whizzed off but anyway spent the rest of the night in nakatcha, i hate the place but its where everyone one goes so went with it.

crashed at lewis's pad and woke up not knowing where i was, still dressed and in a pink bed, haha.

been feelin not so fresh and quite sleepy today but as usual i perk up at night which is why i'm writing this at 01:24am.......right, bed time.