Crowds protest against Adrian Chiles in Brazil

Police in Brazil have fired tear gas and rubber bullets at demonstrators in the capital, Brasilia who are protesting against the presenting skills of ITV anchorman Adrian Chiles.  Stones were hurled at security forces as hundreds of protesters tried to reach the National Stadium which is the latest in a series of demonstrations across Brazil against the unpopular presenter.

Co-ordinated demonstrations in Rio de Janeiro, São Paulo, Belo Horizonte and elsewhere have put pressure on ITV to explain why they have kept faith in their frontman despite the barrage of abuse he and ITV Sport receive every time he is on air.  

Carrying banners declaring “Get Chiles Out” and "Adrian Chiles is a Fuckwit", many of those present cited the damage to the prestige of the tournament by allowing such a bumbling idiot to spoil the television coverage for so many people.

“The world is looking to Brazil and we are showing that the World Cup is being tarnished,” said Felipe Mesquita, a history student at the Fluminense Federal University. “I like football. I like the national team but we also have to think about what the World Cup means. We shouldn’t accept all the bad things that go with it such as unknowledgable punditry and podgey potato faced presenters speaking with dreary monotone irrelevance, I really feel bad for the English viewers at home, we all do”

Zico, one of Brazil’s greatest former players, summed up the mood:

"While previously World Cup fever would be there for all to see, the atmosphere now is much more subdued. I haven't seen the bunting and painted streets that you might expect to be part of preparations here. To me, it looks like the anti-Chiles protests might have put some fans on the back foot, but now that the tournament is starting I wish I could see a bit more joy among the people."

Message to Roy Hodgson - URGENT

Dear Roy,
You name your England squad for the world cup today, I know you'll do the right thing but I just want to make sure that you're not gonna do a Sven on us.  Here is my revised starting line up to replace the one I sent you last time

We're going 4-3-3 now Roy, it'll be fine, just go with it.  Make sure you read this before announcing the squad at 2pm and don't worry I won't tell anyone you've been taking my advice, I'll let you take all the credit.
Right then, here's your 23 man squad, now don't mess this up;

Goalies- Hart, Forster, Foster
Defenders- Cahill, Terry, Johnson, Baines, Shaw, Jagielka, Jones, Walker
Midfield- Gerrard, Lallana, Oxlade-Chamberlaine, Henderson, Barkley, Milner, Wilshere
Strikers- Sturridge, Rooney, Sterling, Lambert, Welbeck

 Copy and paste this ready for your announcement later and I promise you the world cup is in the bag.  If Sven calls you don't listen to him, whatever he tells you don't pick Walcott, Townsend or Rodriguez, they are all injured!  and there are definitely to be no wild card 16 year old youth team players.
Good luck Woy and don't take any shit at the pwess confewence.

ps. Any chance you can wangle me tickets for the final? Would love to see our boys lifting the trophy

Oi! Roy! Please don't do a Sven!

It's nearly world cup time and finally after all these years, and despite the general pessimism of the nation England will be lifting the trophy in Brazil. Yep you heard me, that's just so long as Hodgson doesn't do a Sven anyway!  By doing a Sven I mean having a mental crisis on the the brink of announcing the tournament squad and selecting four strikers, two of whom are injured and one who at the age of 16 has only ever played in the youth team and reserves at his club!

At the current price of 25/1 to win the world cup surely it's worth sticking at least a fiver on England?!?!

Unless Roy is either blind or has been hypnotised by Sven Goran Eriksson then he has to have players like Adam Lallana in his team rather than sticking with the 'safe' boring option of Lampard and Barry in midfield while we all shout at the TV screen "for f**ks sake! get Barry off!  bring Oxlade-Chamberlain on!"

If Roy rings me for advice this is the starting line up I'll probably recommend to him.  I'll be telling him to go all out attack.  

If we go out on pens in the quarters as per then most England fans won't mind as much if we've set the tournament on fire with frantic end to end 4-3's every game, well..... we will mind of course because we will have been robbed by an unjust red card and a disallowed goal but like I said, this year we won't have to go through all that, THIS year, this is the one.....