Yeti gets haircut

Okay I no longer look like a yeti and it really really needed doing and does look a lot better than before BUT why do barbers and hairdressers and the sort find it difficult to follow simple instructions???  I remember now why I've been cutting my own hair for the last few years 1. Because nobody cuts it how you ask and 2. I thought I was being clever and thrifty.

My hair had got quite long partly because I've gotten to like it long and partly because my clippers are broken.  I ask the woman for short back and sides but to leave it long on top and just trim the ends off.  I think I have now realised the problem though, it's that all hairdressers only know 3 different haircuts and ultimately whatever you ask for they'll get scissor happy and do you one of their pre-programmed standard cuts.  All these long locks are fluttering down from my head making it look as if I'm wearing a bearskin rug, whilst I'm muttering very quietly and politely under my breath "yeh just a trim, keep going".  I think once or twice in my life I've had the haircut I've asked for and that was when I've had it shaved short all over, or also known as barbers standard cut number 1.

 I am currently sporting barbers standard cut 2 which is short back and sides and shortish on top, not quite what I wanted and so when she finishes and puts the mirror behind my head I decided that this time I had to complain and so I said.......... "Yeah that's great thanks, it's much better now"
I'm now wondering what standard cut 3 is like.  Maybe it doesn't exist, I think I may have made that one up.

Gervinho's hairline. Discuss......

We can't carry on life much longer without addressing the mystery that is Gervinho's head.  A very talented footballer with a very strange head, a head that amazingly never seems to draw comment from the sky sports commentry, a head that astoundingly MOTD have never thought to do a feature on called 'the highest hairline in football'.  Its an incredible and intriguing sight every time you clap eyes on that enormously expansive forehead and look to the distant horizon on his head to see where his hair is.  Its like a big black shiny bowling ball with a dolls wig plonked on the top.
If anyone out there can help better my understanding on this matter please do share your wisdom.....