Saturday, 29 November 2014

Black Friday

My view on life has evolved over time to arrive at the belief that all people are equal.  Nobody is more important than me but I am no more important than anybody else, an a-list celebrity is no more important than a homeless drunk, a human's life is no more precious than a smelly rat holds theirs to be. 
However, having just seen the result of Black Friday arriving in the UK from the USA, I feel justified in looking down my nose with an air of superiority at our moronic zombie nation wrestling strangers in supermarkets for a half price televisions that they don't even need, they don't need one but IT'S HALF PRICE and I saw it first bitch! give it to me, IT'S MINE! 

I was going to describe the hordes of Black Friday shoppers as animals but decided that this would be a huge insult to the entire animal kingdom, most of whom manage to resist superficial desires to own a brand new dyson vacuum despite Tesco emailing to say there's a whopping 60% off today!
yeah mum, new phone, got in the sale, rrridit
Asda at 4am to get this ipad, it was fuckin mental in there
should've got that dyson, this ain't pickin up, wonder if there's any left.....

No comments: